she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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