I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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