Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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