hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize