Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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