Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize