feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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