IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
