so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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