How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
