If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
