Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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