i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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