I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
