More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
