i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize