i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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