What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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