My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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