I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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