We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
