dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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