You just made me feel so damn special
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
