It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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