i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
