Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Green mimosas i think yes
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
