What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize