his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize