i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
