Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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