My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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