your room smells of hookers.
And success
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
