His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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