i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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