It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Alive.
So much puke
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
