If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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