I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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