I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
