Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I pour the whiskey from now on
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
