She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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