I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Randomize
