i don't like sucking hair
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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