Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
