Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize