remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
