I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
