Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
