Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize