He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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