come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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