I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
