just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
