Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
