Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize