when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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