Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
