I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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