Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
