I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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