The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
