Grow some girl-balls and come out already
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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