Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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