I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
