So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
