And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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