New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
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